Off the Post: Miami Heat Fans Promised Pizza Party with Re-Entry

Off the Post

With the Lebron James Miami Heat’s come from behind victory over the San Antonio Spurs in the NBA Finals game six (referee endorsed), much has been made about the fans who tried to re-enter the building when the comeback was in progress. While NBA Commissioner David Stern had a bodyguard (Shaquille O’Neal) keeping Tony Parker and Tim Duncan on the bench, fans were clamoring to see the Heat’s comeback. However, there was a more important reason fans were jumping over each other like it was a 1970’s  concert to enter the arena.

Free Pizza.

“We were told if the Heat lost the game, every fan in the stadium would get Free Pizza to commemorate the season,” said one fan with his five children. The term fan is used loosely here, as he was actually wearing a Miami Marlins Hat and has never been to a Heat game.

The mad scramble came as radio announcers across the city, told patrons to rush down to American Airlines Arena (Confused by some as Triple A Offices) for free pizza from Papa Johns. Papa John’s franchise owner and Denver Broncos quarterback Peyton Manning was said to be in attendance to start the off-season South Beach party. When questioned outside the arena by our reporter, one fan had no idea there was a basketball game going on

“We have a basketball team?” the man, wearing plaid shorts and Birkenstocks asked, “Are they any good?”

When asked a follow up question, the man, who could not remember his name, did not know that Lebron James played basketball.

“I see his posters everywhere,” the man said, as he ushered his date back into the cab to go to a restaurant.  “I assumed he was the mayor. What about those other two guys he’s always pictured with? The Big Three is a basketball term?”

The mood in the locker room was similar to the discouraged fans. Even the players were looking forward to the event.

“I am glad we’re going to game seven, but I really wanted some pizza”, said Miami Heat forward Chris Bosh, “We have pizza sometimes in the locker room, but the Birdman (Chris Andersen) always eats all the cheese. I need my cheese pizza.”

Bosh then sat at his locker for several seconds before adding, “What if we win Game seven? No Pizza I guess.”

The Spurs were rightfully despondent about the event, of which they were also promised pizza.

“It’s disappointing,” Spurs coach Greg Poppovich said in a disapproving tone (he is usually known for his chipper demeanor and upbeat personality). “We really thought we deserved some pizza. I mean Tim Duncan’s not getting any younger. How many more times am I going to get to share a Supreme with that guy?”

When fans realized just asking for pizza wasn’t going to get them in the building, they decided to say they had a ticket, but security was able to hold back the pizza mob before more damage was done.

“In the end, this was a great day for basketball,” said Lebron James, “but a bad day for Pizza.”

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