#NFLMOCKdraft: Putting the “Mock” Back into the NFL Draft

The NFL Draft brings out thousands of Mock Drafts for the first round every year. On Twitter, @DerekinDenver decided to make a mockery out of the process. In 140 characters or less per point, here is the only MOCK DRAFT.

  1. #NFLMOCKdraft With 1st attempt, the Chiefs change their name to the Football Royals to match their poor season and look politically correct.                                #NFLMOCKdraft The Washington Redskins run and hide for fear they will have to become Politically Correct and take the Bullets nickname
  2. #NFLMOCKdraft with the second attempt, Jaguar, the car company, pays Jacksonville to change its name to Lexus to hurt their competitor.
  3. #NFLMOCKdraft with the 3rd attempt, the Raiders announce they have no idea what’s going on and will forfeit 2013 to try and figure it out
  4. #NFLMOCKdraft 4th selection the Eagles decide to pick a player about to be embroiled in major NCAA violations in honor of Coach Kelly
  5. #NFLMOCKdraft 5th slotted Detroit Lions send out a statement that they have seen the Wizard of Oz and he gave them courage for the season
  6. #NFLMOCKdraft The 6th pick traded by the Browns to the Broncos for nothing so that fans can re-live the glory days. Elway’s Drive & Fumble
  7. #NFLMOCKdraft The Cardinals skip their 7th pick because their “Hot Start” proves this team isn’t the 7th worst team
  8. #NFLMOCKdraft The 8th slotted Buffalo Bills figure out this pick will cost them a lot more in Canadian Dollars once they move to Canada
  9. #NFLMOCKdraft Tired of Tebowmania and Rex’s Foot Scandal, the Jets select Manti Te’o. And the Worst 10 minutes in Twitter History ensues!!!
  10. #NFLMOCKdraft The Titans use the worst pick up like ever to their 10th pick. You’re going to Tenessee because you’re only Ten-I-SEE!
  11. #NFLMOCKdraft 11th: San Diego’s GM leads a rousing rendition of “San Diego Super Chargers.” Everyone realizes it’s Captain Planet’s them
  12. #NFLMOCKdraft 12th: Miami takes Lebron James, infuriating Cleveland fans who still expected him to return to the Browns.
  13. #NFLMOCKdraft 13th-The Jets let the clock run down. In the last two minutes, Jets fans start chanting “Tebow Time!
  14. #NFLMOCKdraft 14th- The Carolina Panthers add North to their name because the South Carolina fans are more critical on twitter
  15. #NFLMOCKdraft 15. The New Orleans Saint’s lose power at their headquarters when trying to make a pick. Can’t remember player’s name
  16. #NFLMOCKdraft 16th- St. Louis Rams announce that their owner Stan Kroenke (Arsenal) that they do not want to spend money on 1st rd #NFLMOCKdraft @piersmorgan cuts into CNN to bemoan the fate of Arsenal fans based on STL Rams spending freeze
  17. #NFLMOCKdraft 17th pick- Pittsburgh Steelers retire terrible towels for fear of jokes if team continues to slide out of playoff contention
  18. #NFLMOCKdraft Pundits everywhere announce that 18th pick will turn Dallas Cowboys into Super Bowl favorite (third year in a row).
  19. #NFLMOCKdraft 20th: New York Giants get lost trying to drive to draft central… In their own city
  20. #NFLMOCKdraft 20th pick belongs to the Chicago Bears. They don’t take an offensive lineman and Cutler immediately gets a concussion.
  21. #NFLMOCKdraft At 21, the Bengals realize that they should have moved up because they are a lot more broken than that 21st pick can fix.
  22. #NFLMOCKdraft 22nd- St. Louis Rams still aren’t going to pick in the first round. Kroenke blamed for being cheap, having too many teams.
  23. #NFLMOCKdraft 23rd: The Minnesota Vikings reward Adrian Peterson’s MVP season by taking Eddie Lacy
  24. #NFLMOCKdraft 24 The Indianapolis Colts realize that their draft board still says “Suck for Luck,” which makes it hard to make a first pick.
  25. #NFLMOCKdraft 25th- Minnesota Vikings pull a Minnesota Vikings circa 2003……. And pass
  26.  #NFLMOCKdraft 26. Green Bay Packers let their owners (fans) vote on first pick… They pick a Wisconsin player projected as a rounder
  27. #NFLMOCKdraft 27th- Houston takes a wide receiver and state loudly that they are “A CONTENDER THIS YEAR, WE PROMISE”
  28. #NFLMOCKdraft 28: Denver Broncos can’t make pick because second hand (legal) Marijuana smoke causes entire draft room to make Taco Bell run.
  29. #NFLMOCKdraft 29. New England Patriots pick someone and every New England area paper runs an Empire Strikes Back reference in their headline #NFLMOCKdraft 29 (cont) Denver Post follows suit on “Empire”headlines with “Belicheck expression (and hoodie) frozen in Carbonite”
  30. #NFLMOCKdraft 30- Atlanta Falcons bring a makeshift dome to draft room to justify stadium dome and the harsh elements don’t hurt their pick.
  31. #NFLMOCKdraft 31- The San Francisco 49ers pick a guy way to high and then joke, That’s okay we’ll be here all night, we have 12 more picks.
  32. #NFLMOCKdraft 32- Baltimore Ravens protest draft system, despite Super Bowl victory, argue that team is MUCH worse with offseason moves.

One thought on “#NFLMOCKdraft: Putting the “Mock” Back into the NFL Draft”

Comments are closed.

%d bloggers like this: