Off the Post: Denver Broncos Fan Harassed For Not Liking Training Camp

Off the Post

Denver Broncos training camp is the highlight of the entire sports season. Any real fan knows that the magic happens at training camp. That’s why people have been filling up Dove Valley, the Broncos training grounds; to stare at people they don’t recognize wearing numbers. It’s all about the practice field.

“I can tell everything that’s going to happen this season based on training camp,” said Kenny Roberts, an unemployed college dropout from Arvada, “Real fans have quit their jobs and spend every second of training camp figuring out what the season holds.”

The insights from seeing the same drills run day after day is particularly great for the radio personalities in the area. Local host Jeff Fields not only gives audience listeners the inside scoop, but also takes his training camp odds to Vegas.

“I was the only one in town telling Broncos fans that Rahim Moore was going to give away a surefire victory,” said Fields, referring to the memorable play from last year’s Divisional Championship game at home against the Baltimore Ravens. “Some point to me and say, “You were the guy who thought Peyton Manning’s neck would ruin his career last year.” I respond that I have training camp secrets they don’t.

(Please note, that Fields radio station was not available for comment to see if he really does run the 3 A.M to 4:30 A.M. show)

Training camp is so important that people have distanced themselves from those who don’t see the merits.

“Look, everyone knows that the third string right tackle makes or breaks a team,” said Roberts, while sucking down a Big Gulp, “If you aren’t willing to be here for this practice, you’re not a real Broncos fan. That’s why we kicked out Ray Jefferson.”

Aw yes, Ray Jefferson. The ire of all Broncos fans everywhere. Learn the name, so you can hate him.

You see, Ray doesn’t see merit in overanalyzing practices and won’t even watch every second of the preseason games. He’s a menace to all Broncos fans. He’s been thrown out of Thundertown. (It might also be Thunderville).

“He really just hurts my feelings,” said Polly Andrews, a longtime fan who always wears an Ed McCaffery jersey. “Basically he said we’re wasting our time overreacting to every change in the depth chart and minor injury. He just doesn’t get how much the team needs us right now.”

Ray is a jerk guys. Block him on twitter. Don’t tell him if the Broncos win their preseason games or not. Just shut him out.

So I asked a Broncos coach what he thought of the training camp.

“We can’t tell anything until they start playing games. We’re working on fundamentals. Don’t blow anything out here out of proportion. It’s practice.”

Sounds like this coach should be annexed from Broncos world along with Ray Jefferson.

After spending a few minutes watching the linebackers stretch, I only have one thing to say.

Super Bowl.


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